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Last week The London Times reported that the late Pope John Paul II, who has been put on the fast track to sainthood by the Vatican, regularly whipped himself as an act of penance to feel closer to God. The Polish-born Pope performed self flagellation as a bishop in Krakow and continued to do so in the Vatican after being elected Pope in 1978. “In his wardrobe, among his vestments, there hung on a clothes hanger a special belt which he used as a whip,” Monsignor Oder says. He said self flagellation was “an instrument of Christian perfection” emulating the sufferings of Jesus Christ. He added that in Poland the former Bishop often slept on the bare floor to practice self-denial and asceticism.
Sister Sobodka, who belongs to the Order of the Sacred Heart of Jesus said “We would hear it—we were in the next room. You could hear the sound of the blows when he would flagellate himself. He did it when he was still capable of moving on his own.” In 1986, in his annual Letter to Priests, John Paul wrote: “What one must see in these forms of penance, which, unfortunately, our times are not accustomed to—are the motives: the love of God and the conversion of sinners.”
Now I wonder why a story as insignificant as this made international headlines! I suspect that it has an interesting shock value for many people, especially those who have been raised in the Protestant tradition—where self-flagellation sounds strange and even masochistic. Why would anybody in their right mind—let alone a holy man—purposefully inflict pain upon himself with a whip? What many people do not know is that self-flagellation is a spiritual discipline that has been commonly practiced in the church for hundreds of years. Saints who whipped themselves include St. Francis of Assisi, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Ignatius of Loyola, St. Thomas More, Mother Teresa, and many more!
When Pope John Paul II said “unfortunately, our times are not accustomed to” I believe he was not only lamenting a departure away from self-flagellation but he was mourning the disappearance of any form of discipline. I’m still not sure what I think about self-flagellation, but I definitely agree with the Pope about discipline in general. If we are really honest about it, our modern culture despises discipline. We don’t like anything that resembles rules! We avoid pain at all costs! And we certainly don’t like anyone telling us how to think or what to do! For many of us, discipline has become a dirty word! Discipline smacks up against the face of our no hold bard “Live free or die!” mindset.
The great spiritual writer A.W. Tozer, in his book Men Who Met God, said, “We must face the fact that many today are notoriously careless in their living. This attitude finds its way into the church. We have liberty, we have money, we live in comparative luxury. As a result, discipline practically has disappeared. What would a violin solo sound like if the strings on the musician’s instrument were all hanging loose, not stretched tight, not ‘disciplined’?”
We live in a world that celebrates freedom at the expense of discipline. All the time I hear people say things like “I have the right to spend my money any way I please”, “I can have casual sex with whoever I want whenever I want”, “I’m 18, now I can do whatever I want.” And if anyone tries to impose rules, regulations, or restrictions, they are criticized for being a prude, killjoy, or a legalist. Since the strings of our society are not stretched very tight, it is no wonder that so many of the sounds aren’t very pleasant. There is no doubt about it, we live in a world where to a large extent, discipline has disappeared!
Wisdom & Discipline
But as with most things, God has something to say about discipline. The word “discipline appears 52 times in the Bible, 20 of which emerge in the Book of Proverbs. Remember the purpose of Proverbs is to impart wisdom to us so that we can live the best life possible. In these Proverbs, God weaves wisdom and discipline together. Actually, they are in an inseparable and reciprocal relationship with one another. They are inseparable because you cannot have one without the other and they are reciprocal because discipline is both a means to acquiring wisdom and an evidence of wisdom. So, God is basically saying that if you want a better life you must be involved in this reciprocal relationship with wisdom and discipline!
If you read each of the 20 Proverbs that talk about discipline you would notice that they are used in two different ways. As a matter of fact, we can break them into two different categories of usage: giving discipline and relieving discipline. Some people are good at giving discipline but aren’t so good at receiving it for themselves: we usually call these people hypocrites. Others are good at receiving discipline for themselves but are not very good at giving it to others: we usually call these people cowards. Still, here some people who are good at both and others who are not good with either one. As we will see, giving and receiving are both important for acquiring and evidencing wisdom, and thus living a better life! I don’t have enough time to address all 20 proverbs that deal with discipline, but I will comment on a few from each category. Let’s begin with giving discipline!
Giving Discipline (13:24; 19:18; 22:15; 29:15-21)
Proverbs 13:24—First of all, notice the shocking contrast between the words “love” and “hate.” Parents often feel that love is incompatible with physical punishment, but actually the opposite is true. God actually declares that a refusal to discipline is actually a sign of hatred, but discipline is a sign of love. This is counterintuitive and certainly countercultural today, but it is the Word of God.
Proverbs 22:15—Since Adam’s fall in the Garden of Eden, every child has entered the world with a willful, stubborn, selfish, and spirit. Don’t be deceived by those cute little fingers and toes; folly is bound up in their little hearts, and it doesn’t take long to see it. Sinful behavior comes naturally for children and it will not go away automatically. Parents must take the initiative to discourage such folly whenever it surfaces. This is, no doubt, one of the most difficult aspects of parenting!
Proverbs 23:13-14—Here we see discipline introduced for the first time as a matter of life and death. The direct imperative prohibition against withholding corporal punishment shows the seriousness of the issue. Discipline produces wisdom and wisdom generally leads to a longer life. A child will not only survive the spanking; he or she will also survive because of the spanking.
Proverbs 29:15-21—This passage is a sort of summary of the previous three and an extension beyond just giving discipline to children. Discipline should be administered as needed to anyone under our care—children, grandchildren, servants, employees, students, etc. Now certainly corporal punishment is not appropriate in every case, but sometimes discipline needs to be more than mere words. A disciplined person brings peace and delight while an undisciplined person produces disgrace and grief in the end.
Now I realize that some of us are very uncomfortable with this type of language. Some of us live with the physical scars and painful memories of what was described to us as “discipline.” Maybe the image of a rod, paddle, belt, ruler, switch, or something else still evokes feelings of terror inside of you. Please hear me! These verses were never intended to be nor should ever be used as justification for abuse. I believe that one of the reasons why our culture has reacted so intensely against discipline today is because of how it has been misused in the past. If you are still suffering from the effects of abusive discipline, I am so sorry and I pray that Jesus Christ would heal your wounded heart.
But I also challenge you not to throw the baby out with the bath water! Listen to what God is saying in these verses. Discipline, when motivated by love, produces wisdom and leads to a better life. A parent who is unwilling to discipline their child is just as unloving as a parent who abuses their child. There is a balance to this!
You don’t want to make the same mistake that Bill Cosby’s parents did. Bill remembers one day when his father was reading, he and his brother decided they could play basketball in the living room without breaking anything. When he took a shot that redesigned the glass table, his mother came in with a stick and said, “So help me, I’ll bust you in half.” Without lifting his head from his book, his father said, “Why would you want twice as many?” We certainly don’t want to bust anyone in half, yet neither do we want to just laugh it off. One of the best gifts we can give our children is discipline!
I should also mention that the discipline process does not end at 12 years old. When kids outgrow “Time Out’s” and “Spanks,” curfews, groundings, and loss of privileges are all appropriate forms of discipline. And for those really late bloomers, let me mention a few more. I would not pay college tuition for a child who is screwing around and drinking their way to “flunkersville.” I would not provide free room and board to a child who refuses to work or is supporting a drug habit. On the basis of God’s Word and for the sake of his or her life, please cut them off! Do not reward bad behavior! We all need discipline! Are you willing to give it?
Receiving Discipline (12:1; 13:18; 15:31-32; 3:11-12)
That brings us to the second category of discipline. God not only wants us to give discipline well, but he also wants us to receive it well. So, let’s look at a few more proverbs.
Proverbs 12:1—I just love the bluntness of this verse! It doesn’t require much explanation! Those who love discipline and correction gain knowledge, but those who hate discipline and correction are simply stupid because they do not learn from their mistakes and perpetuate bad behavior.
Proverbs 13:18—Solomon offers another contrast, showing the results of those who ignore and heed discipline and correction. Those who ignore it wind up in poverty and shame whereas those who heed it are honored. How many times have we seen this lived out before us?
Proverbs 15:31-32—This proverb makes the observation that wise people are willing to receive a rebuke and can handle criticism. The wise are willing to admit mistakes, change behavior, improve their lives, and are therefore less apt to make the same mistake twice. Wisdom is really defined by one’s willingness to listen to correction.
Proverbs 3:11-12—This passage moves beyond the realm of human discipline to divine discipline. When we are not self-disciplined and fall into various forms of folly, God acts as our loving father and rebukes us and disciplines us. Wise people genuinely want to correct their wrong thinking and bad behavior, but foolish people take correction personally and either ignore it or get angry.
But notice how God’s discipline is motivated out of love. He does not want his people to continue in life damaging attitudes and behavior. Discipline and correction, though painful at the time, is actually a favor because it saves us greater pain in the future. Divine discipline is actually a form of sovereign grace.
These verses pose an important decision for us—we can either choose to discipline ourselves or God can do it for us. We can choose to discipline ourselves by living in moderation, turning from sin, and living for the Lord, or we can choose to live in excess, continue in sin, and live for ourselves—and face God’s discipline. The choice is ours! What will you choose?
God loves us so much that he will make it difficult for us to live in sin and folly. The absence of corrective discipline would actually indicate divine rejection. How does God discipline us? Suffering! Now please don’t misunderstand me—I am not saying that all suffering is God’s discipline, but some of it is. God sometimes uses sickness, loss, and hardship to steer us back toward the right path. C.S. Lewis once said, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pain.” How has God disciplined you?
M. Scott Peck, in his book The Road Less Traveled recounts a story from his childhood, “I spent much of my ninth summer on a bicycle. About a mile from our house the road went down a steep hill and turned sharply at the bottom. Coasting down the hill one morning, I felt my gathering speed to be ecstatic. To give up this ecstasy by applying brakes seemed an absurd self-punishment. So I resolved to simultaneously retain my speed and negotiate the corner. My ecstasy ended seconds later when I was propelled a dozen feet off the road into the woods. I was badly scratched and bleeding, and the front wheel of my new bike was twisted beyond use from its impact against a tree. I had been unwilling to suffer the pain of giving up my ecstatic speed in the interest of maintaining my balance around the corner. I learned, however, that the loss of balance is ultimately more painful than the giving up required to maintain balance. It is a lesson I have continually had to relearn. As must everyone, for as we negotiate the curves and corners of our lives, we must continually give up parts of ourselves.”
It really is much less painful for us to apply the brakes of discipline to ourselves! Where do you need discipline in your life? Frivolous spending? Sex outside the marriage bed? Alcohol abuse? As we negotiate the curves and corners of our lives, what parts of ourselves must we give up?
When I think about discipline, giving it and receiving it, the lyrics of one of my favorite songs always pops into my head. Listen to what singer/songwriter Dan Fogelberg says about his musician father in his 1981 hit “Leader of the Band”—
A quiet man of music Denied a simpler fate
He tried to be a soldier once, But his music wouldn’t wait
He earned his love through discipline, A thundering, velvet hand
His gentle means of sculpting souls Took me years to understand.
The leader of the band is tired, And his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through my instrument, And his song is in my soul —
My life has been a poor attempt To imitate the man
I’m just a living legacy To the leader of the band.
I deeply appreciate Dan Fogelberg’s tribute to his father, but make no mistake about it, Jesus Christ is the true leader of the band. His hands are thundering because he disciplines those he loves. His hands are velvet because he demonstrated his love by dying for us on the cross. His gentle hands continue to sculpt our souls into his likeness; I hope it doesn’t take too many years for us to understand! Jesus’ blood runs through our heart and his song is in our soul. I hope our lives are strong attempts to imitate the man, and I hope that we will all be living legacies to the true leader of the band.